
In a genuinely terrifying video posted to YouTube that is underscored with ominously utopian electronic music, Jacqmain demonstrates the true reach of his great and terrible power. The all too convenient portability of the Solar Death Ray makes no place safe from its destructive beam, and every object in its path is within an instant set aflame or otherwise eradicated.
The R5800 is my latest and greatest solar creation. Made from an ordinary fiberglass satellite dish, it is covered in about 5800 3/8" (~1cm) mirror tiles. When properly aligned, it can generate a spot the size of a dime with an intensity of 5000 suns! This amount of power is more than enough to melt steel, vaporize aluminum, boil concrete, turn dirt into lava, and obliterate any organic material in an instant. It stands at 5'9" and is 42" across.
Humanity's only hope for survival is Jacqmain's disgraceful ineptitude with respect to shed keeping. The R5800 was destroyed in a fire (that may or may not have been started when the Death Ray became sentient, realized the horrible nature of its existence, and took its own life), and we have some time before he constructs its frightening sibling. It is our sincere wish that like the Heavy Ink incident, where a ComicsAlliance editorial helped lead to weapons confiscation, the authorities will heed our (completely made up) warnings and confiscate the potential weapons of mass destruction that may or may not be found in Eric Jacqmain's parents' backyard before he enslaves us all.
[Via Blastr]




























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