For the past seven months, writer Chris Sims
and artist Rusty Shackles
have been putting their imaginations to good use in order to bring you the best comic book stories that never were. Now, with 13 issues under their belts, it's time for the very first Great Comics That Never Happened Annual!
The Official Handbook of the GCTNH Universe
: A look back at everything we've done, featuring everyone from Lemmy Kilmister to Mr. T to the Wu-Tang Clan and, of course, Batman! Check out the full-size wraparound cover as well as a full GCTNH gallery
after the jump!
And now, a look back!
GCTNH #1: The Justice League Meets the Wu-Tang Clan!
When a swarm of Killer Bees emerges from the 36th Chamber, the JLA realize that the only thing that can stop them is the legendary Wu Tang Sword
, a style that is immensely strong and immune to nearly any weapon! Unfortunately, that style has been lost for centuries! Now, they must bring the ruckus to Earth-Wu
to recruit their newest crime-fighting allies: The RZA, the GZA, Old Dirty Bastard, Inspectah Deck, Raekwon the Chef, U-God Ghostface Killah, Masta Killa and the mysterious Method Man!
GCTNH #1.5: The Wedding of Black Cat and Mary Jane
Revealed at last, the real
reason that Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson never got married! Tired of constantly coming second to her lover's responsibilities as Spider-Man, MJ finds comfort in the skintight black leather-clad arms of another, someone who knows exactly
how she feels: Spider-Man's irascible ex, the boisterous Black Cat! So grab something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue for the wedding of the century -- but what part does the diabolical Mephisto play in these Sapphic nuptials? The answers lie inside -- and you won't believe who's a bridesmaid, but never a bride!
GCTNH #2: Batman and Li'l Preacher!
In this kid-friendly tie-in to the "Brave and the Bold" cartoon, Batman finds himself in the most requested team-up of all as he meets ten year-old Jesse Custer: Li'l Preacher
! Jesse and his pals -- the resourceful Tulip (complete with her ever-present water pistol) and the always-ravenous Baby Cass -- are on a mission to find religion, but when they lead Mean Mr. Saintokillers to the Dark Knight Detective, it might just end up as heck on Earth!
GCTNH #3: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 1988
When war-hero-turned-handyman Kesuke Miyagi is found drained of blood, it becomes clear that the occult gang known as the Lost Boys are targeting the only individuals that can stop them from complete domination of America. It's the perfect case for the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen--except that their government contact, Oscar Goldman, disbanded the team in 1979 after they defeated Mr. Han's army of the living dead.
Now, disgraced scientist Emmet Brown has to put together a new team to combat the growing threat of the Lost Boys and their leader, a newly resurrected vampire kingpin Tony Montana: Transportation specialist Jack Burton, ex-commando B.A. Baracus, tech wizard Angus MacGyver and the mysteriously powerful femme fatale known only as "Lisa." But will Brown be able to stop the Lost Boys before time runs out?
GCTNH #4: Young M.O.D.O.K. Romance
Heartbreak abounds in this tear-jerking tale! He was never designed for love, but he feels it anyway! But will he -- can he
-- allow himself the luxury of these feelings that aren't only for killing? Is Brad's love true, or is he just after the secrets of the Cosmic Cube? And who will wipe away his tears when his tiny, tiny arms can't reach?
GCTNH #5: Aliens vs. Predator vs. Ted Nugent
He don't know where they come from but they sure did come... to make Earth their battleground! But no matter how prepared they thought they were, the Alien and Predator never expected to be confronted with the Motor City Madman! It's the moment he's been waiting for his entire life as Ted Nugent is the only thing standing between humanity and the conquering aliens, and somebody's
gettin' locked down in a stranglehold!
GCTNH #6: Superman vs. the Flash vs. The Dukes of Hazzard
When Boss Hogg sets up a phony charity designed to funnel contributions from well-meaning citizens into his own pockets, Superman and the Flash are roped into holding a charity race across Hazzard County--without super-powers! But when Bo and Luke Duke, a couple of good ol' boys who never mean no harm crash the race, can the two Fastest Men Alive outrun a souped-up Dodge Charger before it hits the county line? Find out in this exciting issue! Also featured: Lois Lane discovers a Hazzard County fashion statement sure to catch Clark Kent's eye and a two-page backup story where Jimmy Olsen and Kid Flash meet Coy and Vance!"
GCTNH #7: Dial H For HOVA
Reprinted at last, Robby Reed is back like Jordan wearin' the four-five! When Robby Reed sees villainy in action, he dials H-E-R-O on his fantastic H-Dial to become the boy of 1,001 changes! But when he's confronted with haters, dirt on his shoulder and the devious scourge of Autotune, he dials H to the Izzo, V to the Izzay to transform into the legendary Jay-Z! It's Big Pimpin' action as you like it as we allow Robby to reintroduce himself in this dynamic collection of DC classics!
GCTNH #8: Hannah Zatanna
Life might seem simple for international magic star Hannah Zatanna, but it's not always easy being both a super-heroine and
a fishnet-clad attendee to John Constantine's decidedly Mature Readers birthday party! Now her hectic life has come to a head and Z has to choose: Super-Hero of the Supernatural? Or can she truly be the best of both worlds?
(Click through for the full-size version
GCTNH #9: Diamond Dave
Now that Stephenie Meyer, Robert Pattinson and even Justin Bieber have had their lives detailed in the world of comics, it's time for the real icons to get their due, starting with the greatest hard rock frontman of all time, "Diamond" David Lee Roth! It's a hummala bebula zeebula boobula hummala bebbula zeebulah bopography that's so hot you'll be crazy from the heat!
GCTNH #10: The Thing and Dracula: Tag Team!
When the Lord of the Vampires loses a battle with Mephisto for the right to rule the underworld, his only chance for survival is to challenge him to a duel, showing up at the Unlimited Class Wrestling Federation charity event to demand the Thing act as his second! Now, Ben Grimm and Dracula must unite in the ring to face off against Rey Infernerio
and El Hijo de Mephisto
in a no-holds-barred tag-team match -- with the souls of every fan in the arena at stake! Will their unlikely tag team be able to defeat two demonic rudos
who honed their skills battling El Mascara De Plata in the '70s? Find out in this senses shattering throwdown!
GCTNH #11: Jimmy Olsen Goes to Comic-Con
Everyone knows that the world's biggest collection of Superman souvenirs belongs to the Man of Steel's best pal, Jimmy Olsen! But when Jimmy heads to sunny California to exhibit his collection at the Superman Convention, it gets stolen by crooks who plan to use the objects to defeat their arch-nemesis once and for all -- And what's more, they've blended into a crowd made up entirely of people in fanciful costumes! Now, Jimmy must recover his collection using his last souvenir -- a disguise kit that turns him from the Daily Planet's cub reporter into an undercover Space Princess!
GCTNH #12: The Brave and the Bold and the Metal
When the Justice League of America refuses to investigate the death of a rising star in Gotham City's heavy metal scene who appears to have passed away from natural causes, Batman gets fed up with their rules and quits, leaving the murderers to think they've gotten away! But what they don't know is that Batman has another card up his sleeve: The Ace of Spades!
Now teamed up with his new partners, Mikkey Dee, Phli Campbell and the unstoppable force known only as Lemmy, Batman and Motörhead
must solve the case of the man who was... Killed By Death!
So there it is, fans: A year's worth of untold tales in only seven months! And we'll be back in two weeks with more, so until these become great comics that are
happening, Make Mine 'Maginary!