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  • DCD
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The Christmas Letter of Dr. Doom (ComicsAlliance)

Dec 10th 10:29 PM: In your country, you have eight nights of Hannukah. In scenic Latveria, we have eight Dreadknights of Hannukah.

In your country, Salvation Army rings bells. In historic Latveria, the Robotic Tithe Collectors wring necks.

In your country, you kiss loved ones under the mistletoe. In beloved Latveria, we kiss under a missile. And under orders. And under a pervasive state-approved melancholy. And a crippling scurvy epidemic. And the threat of just getting hit with a laser from somewhere, at any time.

True Stories of the 'Core Marvel Universe' (ComicsAlliance)

Nov 24th 5:08 PM: In the Core Marvel Universe, planets grow goatees.

In the Core Marvel Universe, a virgin Mary analog uses her kung fu to fight alongside circus freaks and socialites and gets married to a sentient space plant in the body of a dead villain in a ceremony officiated by the lord of all time, in a double ceremony where a robot married a witch.

In the Core Marvel Universe there's this giant dog with a tuning fork in its head who can teleport, only he's really a dude who looks like a dog, only that was a trick, only no it wasn't.

In the Core Marvel Universe, Blackbeard the pirate was a spacefaring time traveling rock monster Jew from the Lower East Side.

....does anybody else feel like Yakov Smirnoff doing this?

"In your country, cabinet members are vetted by political advisers and the media. In the Core Marvel Universe, a Nazi with no face was able to become Secretary of Defense and create a secret black-people-destroying-disease research facility on the top of Mount Rushmore because nobody knows what an anagram is."

The Most Bizarre Superpowers In Comics (ComicsAlliance)

Nov 24th 12:23 AM: The infamous Obnoxio the Clown meets the X-Men story featured a dude with a power weirder than any X-Statix member (although I do not fault your choices at all): Eye Scream. An industrial spy-type mutant whose power was to turn into any flavor of ice cream and slide under the door.

Sure he was a gag but so was Dogwelder, y'know?

Sidebar: I saw this Obnoxio/X-Men story in a quarter bin somewhere and snatched it up immediately thinking it was that rare comic where they went to the fair (I had gotten them mixed up) and was sooo disappointed at the time that I couldn't flip it on eBay for cash. Now, though, having read that state fair comic, I feel I made the right purchase.

Red Scare: Our Favorite Comic Book Communists (ComicsAlliance)

Nov 9th 11:33 PM: I'm tempted to offer honorable mention to the Red Scare from the Tick. He may not have really been a Soviet super soldier but he was cooler alone than the whole Winter Guard.

Also, hell with the Red Guardian, it's all about ULTIMATE Red Guardian, who had a Captain America shield made out of other Russian test subject dudes. METAL.

Contest: Win an exclusive City of Heroes in-game item from Comic-Con (Massively)

Jul 29th 7:34 PM: Yo!