Last week, we here at ComicsAlliance brought you a look at the weirdest "sexy" Halloween costumes
on the market, and as much as we poke fun, the fact is that they wouldn't be making 'em if people didn't buy 'em. The fact is, the Sexy Costume Market is booming, and we want a piece of that action. The problem is figuring out where to go that the existing costumes already haven't, because really, once you hit "Sexy Elmo," there's just not a whole lot left. That's why today, ComicsAlliance's Chris Sims
, webcomic artist Max Huffman
and ComicsAlliance's own Caleb Goellner
have scraped the bottom of the help illustrate the 13 Most Unlikely Sexy Costumes From Comics!
It may have been fifteen years since you've had to take down a Green Beret, but you'll be taking their breath away as Batman's stalwart ally, Commissioner Gordon
! The perfect costume for a girl who wants to keep order on the mean streets of Gotham City, but doesn't
want her favorite vigilante sneaking away when she turns her back!
Costume Includes: Tank top, shorts, Glasses, moustache, badge, and ultraminitrenchcoat. Accessorize with your favorite baseball bat for Year One Excitement!
Stuck taking your nephews trick-or-treating before you hit up your friends' party? We've got you covered with our sexy version of Uncle Scrooge
! Not only will you look like a number one dime, but our patented DuckFace™ mask technology means every
picture will be ready for your Facebook profile!
Costume Includes: Top hat, beak, glasses, and one-piece coat. Accessorize with one multiplujillion, nine obsquatumatillion, six hundred and twenty-three dollars and sixty-two cents worth of pure capitalism.
Why raid your disguise trunk this Halloween when you already look as hot as our Sassy Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen
! It comes with a signal watch, but you won't need it to summon your
favorite heroes once they get a good look at the Daily Planet
's newest staffer -- you'll be fighting off offers to vacation in the Bottle City of Kandor all night long!
Costume Includes: Wig, shirt, ultra-mini-jacket, capris, bow-tie, signal watch and freckle-designing kit. Be advised that becoming a werewolf, giant turtle, stone-age Beatle or other bizarre transformation is not covered by our warranty.
Your local Avengers will be assembling to see you when you show up dressed as the sexiest scientist to ever battle Captain America, Baron Zemo
! Whether you're going solo, organizing a team of Thunderbolts or just teaming up with Sexy Red Skull
, they'll be begging to be strapped to your
rocket and shot into the North Atlantic!
"Sexy Red Skull" costume has been discontinued for what we think are fairly obvious reasons.
Costume Includes: Headdress, mask, fur collar, two-piece dress, gloves, belt and boot covers. Buyer accepts all responsibility for any accidents involving Adhesive X.
From the firepits of Armaghetto to the techno-jungles of the Wild Area, you'll be turning heads as Darkseid
, powered by the Omega Force mere mortals know as sass
! Guaranteed to make you the Anti-Life of the Party!
Costume = Helmet + Top + Skirt + Belt + Boots x Makeup Kit, N = Y where n = vinyl y = flammable, Costume = Darkseid.
Turn the Deadly Art of Science into the Sexy
Art of Science with our Sassy Atomic Robo
costume! Robo might not have a mouth, but you'll
be smiling at all the compliments you'll get from what we are proud to say is the hottest interpretation ever of Nikolai Tesla's work.
Costume Includes: Hat, goggles, bandanna, top, shorts, shoe covers and belt. Lightning Gun sold separately
You won't need electro-hormone surgery to become the sassiest warrior of the World That's Coming when you transform into Sexy OMAC
! With a sizzling design based on one of Jack Kirby's most alluring creations, they'll be Brother Eye-ing you from the moment you step into -- actually, now that I write that down, it sounds really creepy. You'll look good. Let's leave it at that.
Costume Includes: Wig, tank top, skirt, bracelets, anklets, and 4.6 billion dollar orbital satellite that may or may not attempt to eradicate all super-human life.
Tired of Sexy Sailor Scouts and Gothic Lolita Maids stealing the thunder from anime
-themed costumes? Then it's time to go old school and unleash the unstoppable power of sassiness with Akira's Tetsuo Shima
! Whether it's a costume party at an orbital laser platform or the utter destruction of Neo Tokyo, you'll be the grotesquely malformed psychokinetic center of attention in this fetching ensemble!
Costume Includes: Bikini, mental frequency alternator, and a bag of lozenges to be used while shouting "KANEDAAAAAAAAA" all night
Take A.I.M. at the year's most off-beat sexy costume when you step into the brain-blasting body of MODOK
! He might be designed only for killing, but you'll
be designed only for being the best-dressed scientist supreme this year!
Costume Includes: Headpiece with posable arms, leg pieces, searing contempt for all microbrains
Whether you're celebrating the groundbreaking run of comics scripted by Alan Moore or the truly unfortunate movies that involved Heather Locklear, you'll impress everyone by going green as Swamp Thing
! The perfect costume for the girl who wants to spend hours explaining that no, she's not
dressed as Poison Ivy. Note:
"Sexy Swamp Thing" costume doubles as "Modest Poison Ivy."
Costume Includes: Top, skirt, sash, flower and branches. We are legally prohibited from providing psychotropic tubers, but if you're interested, we totally know a guy
Why waste time on Halloween when you could be celebrating X-Treme-O-Ween
! Keep in mind before ordering that yes: The boots are
meant to be that small.
Costume Includes: Top, shorts, shoulder-pads, "techno-organic" gloves, pouches, pouches, pouches, pouches, pouches and boots. Accessorize with a gun that looks like it could launch basketballs into orbit for that authentic touch!
You want pictures of Spider-Man, but if you dress up as the Daily Bugle
's sassiest Editor-in-Chief, J. Jonah Jameson
, they'll be wanting pictures of you
! The perfect costume for couples (with either Sassy Spider-Man
or Sexy Ben Urich
), or solo for the trick-or-treater who plans to start yelling as loud as possible after two cups of punch. You'll still be annoying, but at least you'll be in character!
Costume Includes: Dress, leggings necktie (pre-tied), sleeveless jacket, wig, sharpie for drawing moustache on finger and deep, all-consuming hatred of Spider-Man. Accessorize with a newspaper or a robot designed to kill your employees!
And the sexiest costume of the year...
might not socialize, but you
'll be in demand at every
party! Just be careful when you try to enter or exit rooms. Or sit. Or drink. Or do anything but stand.
Actually, we're starting to see why
Mogo doesn't socialize.
Costume Includes: An evening of people the word "socialize" to you over and over and over, stockings.