We've talked about poor ways of handling bad reviews before, but this one trumps them all. Comics writer and blogger Kevin Church recently posted a review, of sorts, of Larkin's new comic 'Arcade of Cruelty.' Larkin showed up in the comments almost immediately, with a response so spectacular that I'm going to post it in its entirety:
"LOL, my friend! I doff my cap to you, funny guy! A clever "review" like that deserves an equally clever retort. Here's mine: I just Mapquested (not a real word) directions to [REDACTED], which you may recognize as your street address. I'm about to hop into my expensive luxury automobile, where I will write the word "FAIL" in black magic marker on the knuckles of my right fist, you know, my punching fist. Many hours from now, I will use that fist to pound on your door, which you will foolishly open only to be greeted by a tsunami of punches, kicks and gnashing teeth. I will pummel you until the word "FAIL" is tattooed on your stupid f--king face and imprinted on every one of your stupid f--king teeth, even the ones that will no longer be in your smart little mouth, the one that's never ever kissed a girl. I'll handily ask through clenched teeth, "How'd you like THAT s--t-sandwich, bitch?!" You will say nothing in response because you are a cowardly pussy of a man that has never kissed a girl let alone fondled a girl's breasts. See you soon! ;)"
Ah, nothing compels me to buy a comic quite like a creator who communicates like a 13-year-old internet troll with anger control problems! A quick google reveals that Church is hardly the only person with negative things to say about the comic -- including one remarking that Larkin goes to great pains to "present himself as a thoroughly awful human being." For bonus class points, Larkin reviewed his own book on Amazon.com, giving it five stars.